How to spot a lesbian...or not!

Finding Clothes that suit your Style

For great clothes for EVERY body - regardless of sexuality or gender, check out GFW Clothing.

gfw clothing for humans


In years gone by, the classic short back and sides was the ultimate way to identify a lesbian - because it was a way of expressing the individual which wasn’t conforming to feminine cultural norms. 

But over several decades we’ve seen more diversity with regards to hair length on women, regardless of sexuality. Think of the 80s when Annie Lennox (or just Annie Lennox in general), Grace Jones and Alison Moyet all sported beautiful ‘butch’ haircuts. Or how about Sinead O’Connor’s iconic shaved head style?

Annie Lennox short hair

Annie Lennox. Source: RCA Records

The point is, ever since the 80s hair length is slowly being eradicated as an indicator whether someone or not is a lesbian.

Hair is not how we identify other lesbians any more in this ever-increasing egalitarian world.

For the past few years one of the most popular fashionable hairstyle for women of all sexualities is to have long hair with shaved sides. It’s a progressive hairstyle and is usually coloured with vivid hair dyes.

As for lesbians, it’s pretty much a free-for-all when it comes to hairstyles. Short hairstyles such as quiffs, crew cuts and shaved heads are still prevalent, but longer hairstyles are just as common now. This is fantastic in terms of the fact we feel more comfortable in expressing ourselves whether we’re femme or butch...and everything in between! do we recognise another lesbian now that the short hair and masculine clothing, considered by some as the bedrock of 'lesbian fashion,' are more widespread among all women’s sexualities?


I tried to come up with a few ways lesbians might identify each other - but it was difficult without involving stereotypes. So I decided to bust several myths about stamping ‘lesbian confirmed’ onto a woman....

Short nails

This one is derived from the whole “super-practical for intimate reasons” theory.

Myth busted: Nail-biting is still very much a big habit among all sexualities.


Masculine clothing

You can spot a lesbian a mile off if she’s into ‘tomboy’ fashion.

Myth busted: Ever heard of femmes? And tomboy is kind of redundant now...

I mean, what is lesbian fashion? Lesbian clothing style is a spectrum. Some of us love to wear dresses and heels, some of us like to wear masculine suits and ties. And that’s not counting the infinite mixtures of self-expression in between.


lesbian femme

Body language

A woman is definitely a lesbian if she sits with her legs apart on public transport or if she slouches a lot, puts her elbows on the tables or if she doesn’t walk in a ladylike manner.

Myth busted: Not every woman attends Ms Cuthbert-Bellingham’s Finishing School for Ladylike Ladies. Some women like to adopt a more relaxed stance...for no reason other than they prefer it.


Hiking boots and fleeces

Lesbians like hiking. They wear hiking boots and they can go hiking a lot.

Myth busted: Straight women go hiking too.


Cool factor

Lesbians are really cool.

Myth busted: I’m tempted to agree with this one but we are available in a range of temperatures. 

The conclusion? There is no surefire way of identifying a lesbian unless she tells you herself! We’re all amazingly unique and that is something to be celebrated!

Finding other lesbians for friendship or relationships

Community is the heart of connection. We understand that finally finding clothes that fit your style and body type can be such a liberating experience. That also includes finding your people! HER started as an app for lesbian dating, to help you find your special someone. Since its inception, it has also evolved into becoming an app for queer community space for other LGBTQ+ women, nonbinary, and trans folks in your area Unlike most dating apps, HER is for making authentic, lasting connections with others. Download HER app today to connect with fellow women-loving women near you and find your community (or your life-long partners).




Photographer @lori_sapio_photographer. Model @un_diverso_tipo_di_produzione


Older Post Newer Post

  • You know how to really spot a lesbian, ASK! As a lesbian myself, I won’t be offended. Just ask is your curious!

    Megan on
  • Yes, its kind of annoying when people assume you’re a lesbian because “you sit like a guy”, its funny they stereotype yet complain about stereotypes. I’ve seen many of the extreme SJW types make everyone gay just because they have a short hair cut or sit a certain way its completely idiotic. Anyway great article (I am not against being gay by any means I just hate being stereotyped)

    SuszieTalksAlot on
  • I just left a comment and i overlooked the significance of the word lifestyle. I didn’t mean it’s a lifestyle kind of lifestyle! I just meant huge difference between fashion and identity in a benign way!

    Maris L on
  • Thank you Valerie E! I am so tired of people freaking out on my short hair! I never even knew being mistaken for a lesbia was an issue! I could dress however i wanted as long as my hair was long. How any woman dresses is potentially way over analyzed by everyone it seems. Is this just an American thing?

    Maris L on
  • Get this straight folks…….Lesbianism and homosexuality is a lifestyle not a fashion look. I wear a butch haircut and I am not lesbian……..

    Valerie E on

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published